Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Miscellany - List of Subjects/Chapters + Bio

TITLE : Cartoon-Art – Portfolio – Bio – Treatises Summaries Scripts Descriptions

AUTHOR : Srikant Jakilinki (sriks6711 (a)

SCOPE : Short Informal


This novella is a take on how poster child pictures that bombard us in many a charity material are made. Quite simply, there is a meeting in a metropolis with directors and photographers, a pageant in a poor African village to select a suitable child, then a photo-session with make-up and flies, shooting of a commercial with a celebrity after which the child is disposed of.

Value of Human Life

This novella is inspired by the many news of war heroes and their memorials but there is no news of who (if any) is giving the memorials to the civilians who are the innocent victims of war. So, we just show what is happening in reality - for real - nothing more, nothing less.

There is a blast in a you-know-where war zone. The soldiers body is given VIP treatment but when there is a mistake with identification, all hell breaks loose with terror alerts but only to be rectified later. Meanwhile, the brown civilians who are killed by the blast are all shoved by a crane and even if some of the people are somewhat alive, they are all dumped into a land-fill.

Art Criticature

This is a humour-sketch which critiques art critics. Two patrons are outdoing each other in praising a weird piece of art in a gallery. The curator comes by, excuses himself and sets the painting right i.e. the painting was hung upside down before. Even after this googly, the critics continue on.

Save Bears, not Hypocrites

This humour-sketch shows what should be done to the save-animals brigade idiots as they only want the cute and cuddly animals to be saved. We show a protest by animal activists to save bears as they are cute and cuddly and use teddy bears as mascots. The police are vexed with all this and make a call for the zoo and release wild bears on the activists.

Activists View of an Ethical Animal Farm

This is a humour-sketch which shows what animal activists think what is going on in so-called ethical animal farms. It is a surreal exploration in which animals are partying and when the time comes, they would willingly give themselves up and sacrifice for the sake of humanity and to serve their sole purpose in life.

About a Gift

This is a romantic novella that has self-referentiality and recursion. At an engagement, our heroine gets a love letter. She starts to investigate and is on her way to face the culprit, SJ, who was once her friend in Uni and now an artist. She goes directly to his painting exhibition only to realize that his paintings actually tell their story AND also the story that is happening right now.

In other words, the paintings are a crystal ball of sorts even predicting that she would come to the art gallery. The next painting would then tell her what would happen. She approaches that painting with a lot of reservations. But alas, there is a mirror-in-mirror “TO BE CONTINUED” one meaning that what happens from here is a choice SJ has left for her... (to be continued)

Perfectly Universal Feelings

This humour-sketch depicts how one feels when we get our turn and when judged by others.

Going Out, Getting Judged and Making a Celebrity

This humour-sketch is inspired by a real story. At a night club, a bouncer does not allow our hero in because of some reason but it turns out that some girls in the queue identify him as Johnny-D and get his autographs which changes the perceptions of the bouncer and allows him in but only to know in the end that he was fooled and the guy is not any celebrity.

Clans Unity and Romans

This is a humour-sketch which shows the volatile unity of clans and tribes which applies equally to Scotland, India and other ye-olde barbaric regions. We show Scottish clans in a fight, nay a skirmish where clans of all kinds are fighting every other. There is an announcement that the Romans are coming. This changes the situation as the clans shake hands and unite to fight Romans.

Truth about Indian Independence (and all colonies under imperialism)

This is a humour-sketch which shows the reality behind independence of colonies. At a port, slaves are loading a ship with wealth and loot. The master gives “freedom” as a small tip to Gandhi.

Viva La Preparium

This novella shows the intrinsic charitism inside most celebrities. We show a pretty woman going about her shopping without any regard to what is going around her. There is shooting on the street, advising beggars to work, accidents and other things.

We realize that she is actually in a rush to go to a charity show where she is walking on the ramp to raise some funds. She wears the many coloured plastic bands (make-poverty-history, stop racism etc.) and says that she tries to do whatever she can do for a good cause.

Travails of a Poverty-grapher

This novella depicts how the poverty of some is exploited for fame and fortune of some others. We show some foreigners taking pictures of people and their life in slums in Bombay. They are using them as props and making fun. The slummers ask for money because Hollywood stars demand so for their pictures. The foreigners kick their asses and go away.

Back in their country, they are showing the pictures to their friends who all want copies so that they can frame this mockery. This gives the foreigners an idea of making an exhibition of the photos and they do so but the exhibition is slow and so the rest of the gang kill the photographer and spread the rumour that he has committed suicide unable to bear the poverty of the subjects. This makes the exhibition a great success.

Commercials/Adverts: Life-saving Chocolate

This series of sketches are meant to be parodies but could very well be converted into commercials. There is an accident and the guy is in ICU. Nothing seems to work and the doctors are trying their best. Tired, they are eating some chocolate and the patient is revived because of the chocolate.

Commercials/Adverts: Situation-changing Car

In this sketch, we show how the presence of a car is changing situations. Quarreling couples are getting united. Violent protests are becoming peaceful. Criminals are surrendering to the police etc. Apparently, this has been made into a commercial by Alfa Romeo (for Brera model) already.

What is God's Religion?

This is a humour-sketch which questions what could be God's religion? We show various religions in a fight - as always. God is pretty concerned and tells via a booming voice from the sky to morons not to fight. The people start their prayers and then get into a debate that it is THEIR God who was speaking and being unable to settle the dispute, start fighting again.

Hotel Bills Confidential

This humour-sketch depicts how hotels rip people off for everything with all sorts of taxes for using cutlery, breathing the air and other incidentals.

Sutradhar: On Women Handbags

Sutradhar is the world's first stand-up comic (literally). In this show, he talks about the mystery that is womens handbags and compares it to magicians pulling out all kinds of stuff from hats.

Neo-Liberal Robbery

This humour-sketch is inspired by the policy of Netherlands to legalize everything. We show a thief knocking on a door and introducing himself and his lawyers and also showing his robbery license. He says that he wants to rob the house and is warmly welcomed by the people who pack the valuables and the robber leaves in good spirits and even gives a small receipt.

Quick Abortion

In this humour-sketch we comment on the support to teenage mothers especially when they threaten with abortion. We show a teenager getting a lot of advise from parents, groups and lawyers of how she is liable for benefits and housing etc. She goes to a doctor to inquire about abortion and the doctor quickly does it which makes her lose the wealth she was planning for.

Deadly Taxes

This sketch is a silly story of a debate between kidnappers who want extortion money only and the kidnappee who is particular as to what they want exactly so that he can put the appropriate entry in the ledger and pay his taxes properly. Quite silly really.

Corporate and Citizen Media

This is a silent sketch depicting how media often hogs an incident at the risk of not letting essential services from reaching the victims. It was perhaps understandable with corporate media but citizen media is as worse if not more so. Citizen journalism is a theme as it is an interesting phenomenon.

Flight Sutra

Flight instructions as done by air-hostesses have got to the most boring and disregarded instructions known to man. So, in order to jazz things up, the airline staff do it on Kama Sutra principles using the air-hostesses as models. Yet, people yawn.

Theatre Spectrum (sample)

This novella is an award winning rhyming play written by yours truly and friends and which has been since cartoonizized so that it is accessible to more people and also serves as a story-board.

Liberation for Oil

This novella shows the hypocrisy of certain countries to liberate other countries. In some non-descript African village, a boy sees the most famous picture of the last decade viz. Saddam's statue being brought down and Iraqis celebrating their liberation. The boy goes to a barren landscape and starts to dig – for oil. He is joined by the others and this activity comes under the eye of some military doing their regular spy rounds.

They ask what is going on and have a discussion with the village chief that they will liberate the village. Quite from who and what is not relevant. They go to the army HQ and show the pictures of the activity. The general uses the red phone and prepares for the war. They reach the village, meet the tribal chieftain once again and wants him to sign an MoU giving the army full corporatization of oil in the region. The chief says that they have only started digging and there was no evidence of oil so far. The general asks for the chief engineer and is pointed to the boy.

Realizing that it was all some grand mistake, the general shoots down everybody around yelling that this was the liberation that they deserve – from their sad soddy lives.

Non-Native Deportation

This novella depicts new laws in certain countries that put a lot of linguistic pressure on immigrants. A coloured man is mugged in broad daylight. He calls the ambulance but they call the police who start testing his accent. Unfortunately, the test turns out negative.

The guy is dragged to the airport to be deported to some African country. There are no tickets and even passenger planes. So, he is packed in a suitcase and tucked away in freight carrier.

Smoky Hazards

This sketch is based on an opinion of a friend who was gutted by a smoker making comments about air pollution. We start with a nurse in a cancer hospital smoking outside who is quite obsessed with it and also addicted as she even collects second-hand smoke.

A doctor joins her and they realize that they are smoking the wrong cigarettes because their packs contain health-warnings that are dangerous to their genders and so they do an exchange and smoke in gay abandon only to be perturbed and made angry by a polluting ambulance.

Newsworthy News

This epic novella tries to answer the question of what makes a news newsworthy enough to be broadcasted. Why is it that some trivial local news takes up reams of paper and not the death of thousands in an earthquake? And even in these, there is a leaning towards sensationalization.

We start with disasters and the editor does not want it published because celebrities have not yet made a statement. There is social strife and a reporter just about escapes with the video and yet again, the editor throws it out because there it lacks the human suffering element etc. So, reporters are forced to put it some elements in the story to appeal to the editor and studio audiences.

Commercials/Adverts: Family-changing Firefox

This sketch was proposed to be an actual commercial for the Firefox browser. We show a angry kid who is always getting into fights with others, mistreating his sister and all that. Then his Mom goes to him and realizes that he is frustrated by his browser and so she installs Firefox. This brings about a marked change in the kid and we end with the jingle - “Firefox makes families happier”

Commercials/Adverts: Attention-diverting TV

This is a small topical sketch done at the time of world-cup football mania. In a football game, a guy scores a goal and he does all that celebrations thingies but to his surprise no one is joining him. The reason being that everyone is hooked to watching the replays on the amazing large screen TV.

Iraq Security Training

This novella shows how Iraqis are being given security training by you-know-who. We begin with the Iraqis being given military education in a school class. Then they go for field-work where they are trained to handle guns. After this, civilians are brought in a colosseum and akin to the Jalianwala incident of yore, the trainees are ordered to shoot live people for practice. Then they are ordered to massacre the civilians with swords and axes. The trainees start to enjoy the training.

After a hard days work, the Iraqis are given performances by Hollywood stars and after this there is an award ceremony for the most dehumanizing performance in the training etc. Next day, they are taught how to manipulate the media and kill reporters because such things cause uproars in international media and reflect on how insecure a country is. All in all, this is a complete dossier on how to train people to police a just-liberated country.

Greeting Card Signing

This is a novella depicting the stupidity of greeting card signing in offices even if one doesn't know the occasion or the person. We start with a greeting card doing the rounds in an office. Everyone is signing it but the person who takes the responsibility of making sure that everyone signs it finds to her dismay that one signature is missing.

People gang-up on the guy and make him sign the card at gun-point. When the person who recieves the greeting card sends an acknowledgment email, everyone feels happy.

Weapons Advertising

This sketch asks the question of what should advanced countries need to do to sell their weapons? Make war of course. So, we start by showing a military decimating and pounding a country we all know only to reveal that this is actually a slick presentation by Brits to Saudis.

Poor Country Aid'okes

This novella of epic proportions questions of why there is no change to the bottom-line of poor countries when so much aid has been sent and is being sent for quite a few years now. We start by showing the misery of the poor countries. The world leaders meet and decide to send aid etc.

So, aid is being dropped in several poor regions. In Africa, the aid turns out to be weapons. In South Asia, the aid turns out to be Chinese cookies, scratch-cards and the like. In India, movie posters of Bollywood stars in compromising positions are sent. All this in a bid to make the poor people happy which they seem to be but to make poverty history, a real solution is to nuke them all.

Fashion Fads

This novella is a parody on the oxymoron that is fashion. The story starts with a consignment of shirts being parked in a ware-house amidst heavy rain and the stock goes bad with fungi marks. The business manager gets an idea.

She makes some people throw mud on a popular film-star and makes the paparazzi take photos. This marks-on-shirt becomes a style icon and everyone wants to wear this latest fashion.

Be Kind to Animals: Eat Them

This humour-sketch starts with a lunch-time debate over eating meat and the heroine actually goes and saves animals from slaughter houses. However, she gets convinced that the released animals suffer a worse fate by getting hunted in the wild and shot by the council etc.

The Ad-Man

This novella is about how influenced we are to buy products based on the commercials/ads thinking that they actually work in a similar way in real life. We start with our hero getting dumped. He has the blues and sleeps and watches TV for a week or so and gets enlightened/conditioned by what he sees. So, he goes shopping for a new girlfriend via buying products that get the models girls.

He starts with razors and cereal, then clothes including underwear and then bikes etc. He buys the exact same products that he has seen commercials of and in which girls come like ants come to a sugar cube. He starts the next day with high spirits but unfortunately, nothing works for him. The razor cuts his face. He gets allergy from the cereal and what not yada yada yada.

Etiquette Tales: Sorry

This is a humour-sketch which ridicules of how easy we say sorry these days. One busy day on a busy street, two people dash each other lightly. The girl says sorry but the guy does not. So, she gives him chase but is caught by the guy and when asked demands that the guy say sorry to her.

Etiquette Tales: Thank You

This humour-sketch pulls the leg of people who say and expect thank-you for everything. We show a guy buying something in a store but after paying for it, the girl at the counter does not part with it because the guy did not say the magic word of thanks. A fight and debate ensues.

Etiquette Tales: Excuse Me

This is a humour-sketch that depicts how much people are obsessed about etiquette. A guy passes by a girl but does not say “excuse me”. The girl does not like it and begins hassling the guy to say the words when he is having coffee, watching movies, in a dream etc.

Ugly People Channel

This novella takes a dig at the beauty obsession of media and how it makes society feel inadequate. So, a guy starts a TV channel where everyone in it are ugly people and which changes society is very profound ways at the risk of crashing the economy.

The ending is a bit cynical and happens at a talk-show where the guy reveals that he gets his stock of ugly people by having regular TV people on his channel sans make-up.

Truly, Madly, Deeply

This novella is an award winning and highly reviewed play written and directed by yours truly and with three different endings for different nights. It has the venue for a stage where the borders between the audience and actors are blurry and has a mix of new media and theatrical effects. The drawings primarily serve as a story-board.

Gods Must be Crazy – 3 Scenes

This novella archives one of the most romantic rendezvous ever seen on film in the movie “Gods Must Be Crazy” between a blabbering scientist and a city woman who comes to teach in Botswana. Imitation is said to be the best form of flattery and the drawings archive the scenes.

Super-models and Drug-addiction: A Winning Deal

This humour-sketch shows how no matter what super-models do, they always get attention and this is exploited for advertising. We take the example of drug-addicted Kate Moss and the Nikon deal.

Commercials/Adverts: X-Factor Cosmetics

This humour-sketch starts with a woman confessing in a church but the cosmetics she wears make her so sexy that the reverend gets attracted to her and sins.

Stay Calm - Your Flight is Delayed

This is a preachy novella which teaches of the virtue of staying calm when flights are delayed which are as inevitable today as yesterday. We start with a girl getting really angry because her flight is delayed and she is fighting with everyone in sight and almost everybody around except one.

She approaches him and he explains that if he lost his temper, chances are that there would be more delays and tells a hypothetical real story.

Sensitive Activists in Arms

This novella rips so called activists and protesters and shows the attention-seeking bunch that they usually are. We start with a group with bandannas and flowery shirts setting up a stall in a busy city center. They start heckling people and shove pamphlets in their throats and butts. The sun comes out and they pack up. There is a little rain and they pack up. It becomes a tad chilly and they pack up. They are in a park and doing all sorts of stunts while have free-sex and parties.

In another thread, two groups of activists converge on the same venue and they fight it out for it. The loser group change their placards and start campaigning for their right to protest at that venue and the other group also change their placards to counter this.

Beauty Sells Everything

This novella is turning out to be an epic. We show a montage of posters as seen on billboards where beauty sells everything. Bimbos are selling car tyres. Family photos are selling medicines. Sceneries are selling cars and what not. This is India and at traffic stops, ugly beggars are shunned.

Our hero who has been seeing the billboards comes up with an idea and does an extreme make-over of a beggar and the child making it a stark contrast. He prints pamphlets and distributes them in the name of a branded charity and behold, people donate.

Gundello Rails – Traffic Crush

This is a rather silly romantic novella which started with showing how it feels to be in a crush. We start with our hero waiting at a bus-stop and getting infatuated by a girl but the bus he was supposed to board, arrives. At this moment, deep inside, his heart seems to be a busy traffic junction and he is quite confused and tosses up a coin.

Friendly City Helpers

This sketch is a simple one where a fight ensues to help a guy who is lost for directions.


In this novella, we play on superheroes and also on mime actions of hands once shown in Seinfeld. We show a couple in foreplay but there is a problem in that they are out of condoms. So, Condom-Man comes to the rescue but by the time they struggle to open the condom, the steam is out.

People at Work

This short sketch collection is inspired by reality. We show people at work but they are not really working unless they are watched. There are also several other things happening on different days and in different contexts like lunches, pubs, saying hellos, training, parties, day-outs etc.

A WWF Appeal

This is a novella which is a honest appeal for wild-life conservation. You know, the ones with celebrities talking about the problems while handling cutie-pie animals and we start with exactly the same situation. But the playful animal that it is, pulls the hair of the celebrity which annoys her very much and she brutally kills the animal while still speaking the words according to the script.

Sweet Gal

This sketch was made as a gift to a woman I know. A guy faints because of diabetes and no sweet seems to work and so the staff get a woman who merely touches him and gives a sugar-rush.

Academics Treatment

This is a serious take on the way academics behave and are treated. We show a donkey straining to pull a heavy cart with whips and carrot-in-front as motivations. We demand that the driver treat the academics better and when that is done, the donkey gets lazy.

Media Kindness to Illegal Immigrants

This sketch answers the question of why is media kind to illegal immigrants. The answer being that one, the government is taking a tough stand and two, because of the cheap labour.

Beauty Saloon Hiring

This novella starts with beautiful girls getting rejected in job interviews in lieu of ugly and fat ones. The reason being that the hiring is for a beauty saloon and the management wants to make sure that the staff at the saloon make the customers feel special and pretty about themselves relatively.

On Battlefield

This novella is a silly take on battles as they happened in the middle ages. We start with a glorious day and the armies decide to have a holiday from the battle but some people object and so the willing guys fight while a running commentary being given to the generals.

Sunflower Meanderings

In this novella, a sunflower ponders about why it has to lead such a dull and mundane life much to its frustration as other sunflowers enjoy their day and sun-spotting.

University Prospectus Photoshoot

This novella is a take on the photos that are put in University prospectus because they always show the pretty students of all colours having an apparently wonderful time. We start with a photoshoot taking place in a cleaned up area of the Uni and the photographer gets a racial equality note and so collects people of different colours around and asks them to pose for photos.

Commercials/Adverts: Situation-anti Deodorant

This sketch starts with an accident between two cars. The lady comes out angry but she is seduced by the deodorant the guy is using and instead of venting out, she kisses him.

Friendly Fire

This is a novella which is slowly turning out to be an epic and comments on the parasitic nature of media. We show a montage of various TV channel taglines each of which are outdoing each other to cover the war in terms of slogans, experts, on-site coverage, analysis and what have you. Example, one slogan could be “every bullet, every death, every day“ and there is some marketing stuff as well where plans are being charted of how to cater to kids, youth, women, oldies etc.

So, various families start watching it. The war coverage is shown in different programming styles. There is pretty much average coverage. People are enjoying it like a movie or a video game and with friends and beers. There are adverts in the middle too - “This war sponsored by <some adverts>”. All is good and now we go live. The media is in the actual war zone and they are being a big pain. They are causing interruptions, put product placements and all the other annoying things. The two armies think likewise, join arms and shoot the buggers down and call it “friendly fire”.

Moms in Agony

In this novella, we show behind-the-scenes footage of moms who are in agony because their child has been raped or kidnapped or stung by an ant etc. We start as with any other photoshoot and a heavily made-up loud woman is giving all the vibes and jibes.

When she is warmed-up and ready, the make-up artist sets her hair, puts some glycerine, gives some body-language tips and the video-camera starts to roll and the Mom is talking about the rape of her teenage daughter in a local park. There is also a director who is overseeing all this.

Worlds Obsession with USA

In one of the routine presidential press addresses, George Bush says the words “...and I have nothing to say...”. This phrase is taken out of context and becomes the subject of many things all over the world. Talk show hosts such as Jay Leno are using this is a punch of a joke. U2 are writing songs based on this. In Germany, there is an expert analysis. In UK, there is a special report. In India, there are strikes and burning of buses. In Australia, France, Kenya etc. there are protests.

The terrorists are claiming this as a moral victory. The Japanese stock market collapses yet again. China increases its military strength and so on and so forth. Seeing all this on TV, Bush is asking his advisors of what he did he say now that prompted all this and pat gets the reply “nothing” which is true and reflects how much the world is obsessed with USA. Vulturish really.

Punctuality Incident

This novella satires the kind of incidents that keep happening in the developed world and the aftermath. The setting is Switzerland and in a tube/sub-way/metro, the train's delayed. People get mad and there is chaos. They come up with all kinds of explanations and it becomes news.

The Islamic terrorists claim victory, a committee is set to investigate, there are presidential announcements and apologies, t-shirts commemorating the “black tuesday” are sold like hot-cakes. After 5 years, there is an anniversary and everyone is told to remember this day. The army and fire-men are hailed as heroes and the driver commits suicide blah blah blah.

Commercials/Adverts: Invest or Waste Money

This sketch was intended to be an actual commercial in which we show people wasting money by burning it in camp-fires, buying a new car and taking it out on a wild-spin etc.

Aping Culture

In this sketch we show how much people ape celebrities. We show a girl aping the hairstyle, clothes, drug addiction, walk-talk and what not and even wants to have AIDS and addiction etc.

Academic Discussions

In this sketch we show what academics really discuss. We show a formal gathering of people who are discussing wine and cheese and other trivial matters and reveal that this is a seminar.

Beauty Disease

This novella depicts the infliction of beauty on people. We do this in the style of generic disease commercials like that of AIDS, cancer etc. where a model talks about the troubles faced. So, our model is telling that she suffers from the beauty disease how it has made her life miserable and how much she wants to be just treated like a human and like everyone else.

She explains how she does not have to work hard to get to the top. How she is paid so much money even for getting her photos taken that she cannot possibly handle. The pressures of being well-groomed all the time. The attention from short guys and media all her life etc.. She starts weeping and we feel for her. So, we pour acid and deliver her from her troubles.

Phases of Love

This novella is inspired by the “... and then we got married...” quote and “... little idiosyncrasies that only I knew about made her mine...” of Good Will Hunting. We show a young couple moving into a new house. It seems perfect for a while but cracks keep appearing. They keep getting into arguments starting with trivial things such as what coffee to buy and then to more serious things like he does not like the pink sweater she knitted etc. The breaking point is reached on her navel-piercing which is unacceptable to him and and she leaves in a huff.

But soon, they both realize how they miss their little quarrels and imperfections. This realization starts from the more serious things like the navel ring and then the sweater. They both meet at the coffee counter of the shop buying coffee the other likes which is a sweet ending.

Reporter Woes

In this novella we play on the proverbial phrase “average man on the street”. We show a reporter trying to get an opinion of one such person and she faces a lot of problems along the way. Firstly, a lady slaps her for being sexist. Then another person slaps her because he is special.

So, the reporter corrects herself, does some research and gets stats of what “average” means and starts to measure people for their height, weight, IQ and such before interviewing but to her dismay, real average people are really rare to find.

Serious Discussions

This sketch starts with an animated discussion of a girl over a phone. We don't hear anything. A guy comes into the frame and presses the mute button so that we can listen to the conversation which is about the girl being angry with her friend for going shopping without telling her.

Commercials/Adverts: Career-improving Cosmetics

In this novella, we do a parody of cosmetic advertisements. Initially, people are unsuccessful in life, work, love, career, friends and what not because they don't use the right products. But once they do, success chases them and they are winning everything in sight. The style we follow is that of those cheesy tele-shopping adverts with testimonials and interviews with people.

Sutradhar: World's Better without Superheroes

In this show, Sutradhar argues that the world is actually better without super-heroes because then there would be no super-villains who do their very best to come up with contraptions that would trouble many while the super-hero is busy saving the heroine elsewhere.

So what about the innocent public whose shops and lives are lost before the super-villain captures the heroine? And of course, there are other incidentals like webs and insurance covers.

Sport Personalities Obsession

In this novella, the obsession of countries with sports personalities is covered. We show a tennis match and a woman is losing badly but the coverage of this match in the local country is also with a spin because they are commenting of how well and greatly she is losing - “that is a great double-fault – the best seen ever”. She is even made to hit tennis balls into the court with really bad results.

Etiquette Tales: Pardon

This sketch asks why should we say “pardon” if we cannot hear or understand the other person because it is his/her fault. We start with a conversation. A guy is not understanding the other person and gets fed-up and kicks him. When asked why, he answers that he was speaking clearly enough.

Prayers Unlimited

This novella questions how come media is agog with society becoming less religious. We show people praying in various contexts and praying for everything like when saving lives, build bridges, playing cards, cook a meal, cursing somebody etc.

We all pray so that so that we can continue our own important things like watching TV etc. (we show prayers of all religions and show the people laze around after that).

When Life throws Lemons, make Lemonade

In this novella, we literalize a popular saying and combine it with some shock and awe. We show white suburbia and a black teacher joins a primary/nursery school. The small kids are shocked, some faint and some puke etc.

Next day, they come with goggles and masks - and then throw lemons. The teacher runs away and complains to the headmaster who coolly quotes the saying. The teacher is inspired and goes back to the class and the lemon-throwing starts again. But this time, he catches them in Matrix style and makes lemonade and sets up a business empire.

Making Influential Advertisements

This novella is inspired by a Fedex superbowl advertisement. An announcer comes and says that they have figured what makes a popular advertisement and exemplifies that it needs a celebrity, a cute animal that can talk and dance, a cute kid, hot chicks, popular tune and an optional message. We use this as a template and generate advertisements for everything around us.

Beauty and Wealth Unimportant – Celebrity

This sketch shows how seriously people take the statements made by celebrities. In a glossy magazine, a celebrity in an interview says that for her beauty and wealth are not that important if she is looking for a hubby. This sets a chain reaction with men from all walks of life celebrating this and thinking that they all might have a shot at winning her heart.

World's Greatest Sporting Event

In this novella we depict the madness that is sport. We start with the build-up of what seems to be a very big game in the history of the world. People are calling in sick to watch it. There is violence at the stadium. Parties are being planned and what not. The game starts. The two captains approach each other in a large ground. A coin is thrown up and that is the sport.

One guy calls correct and wins the game. There are huge celebrations all around. There is world-wide coverage of this event. People go berserk in one place while depressed in another area. There are expert commentators and there is an interview with the winner who uses all the popular phrases in sport of giving 110%, train hard, be strategic etc. There is a victory parade, merchandise, doctorate degree honouring, opening of academies and what not for the winner.

Oww... So sweet!.. but I didn't know you felt this way

This novella is turning out to be an epic and tells the situation of every guy who has loved and done everything to win the attention of a girl only to get the cruel cliched remark “... but I don't know that you felt this way...”. We start with a guy getting a call for dinner and at an opportune time, proposes to the girl only to get back the phrase above.

He feels weird and instead of giving up with a broken-heart, questions her and asks her of when did she NOT know that he felt this way and gives examples of what all he did for her over the years some of which required him to make personal and career sacrifices.

Panel Discussion on Public Expression of Emotions

This novella is a templatic one where we show a montage of scenes of a phenomenon and then a panel discussion of it only to end up with the experts doing such things themselves or some other ending. Here, we talk about public expression of emotions.

Panel Discussion on Increasing Violence in Society

This novella is similar to above and talks about increasing violence in society ending with experts getting into a fight over a silly point.

Chauvinism Today

This novella is a take on changing perceptions of feminism. We start with a guy sitting on a bench in a crowded bus-station. There is a girl standing and he seriously considers offering his seat to her and he does so only to be given a lesson in feminism by the girl.

Respect to Chair, not Person

This novella depicts the fact that respect is often given to the position of a person than the person. We start with a meeting and everyone is doing the exact same thing as the person sitting as the boss. The bosses and their actions are changing but the people are repeating all the same.

Expert Anchors

This is a sketch talking about the wonder of sport anchor babes. We start with an anchor covering some sporting event. A hand comes and asks her some basic questions of the sport and it is revealed that she does not know a thing and for the question of how was she given this job, she reveals the secret quite literally.

Waity Love

This novella is a small story between two people who have really unpunctual partners. We start with a guy waiting in a park and so is a girl. They smile at each other because they do the same actions of looking at the watch and thump their feet etc. Such occasions happen at amazing regularity later on too and they ditch their respective partners and get together.

Benefits of World Disasters

This novella argues that no matter what disaster it is, it has some benefits and no, learning from history is one of them. So, we start with an atomic bomb explosion and first of all there are many people dead and then there is huge news coverage employing many reporters and editors.

Next there are books written about it. Movies are being made and so are such cartoons. People are teaching it and some others are writing their theses about it. Even after long after the disaster, there are memorial days and sale of merchandise and flowers etc.

Chemistry between People

This novella literally shows that there is some iota of truth when people say “I felt a chemistry with us”. We show a guy and a girl getting ready to go out and they are using all sorts of cosmetics for this. Soap, shower, cream, moisturizer, deodorant, hair gel, perfume and what not. No wonder when they cross each others path, they feel a chemistry.

Cultural Differences – Dash

This is a series of sketches on how different cultures react to the same things. In this one, we show what would happen when two guys dash in West, Middle-East, East etc.

Terror Movie Auditions

This is a simple sketch which has various people of all ages and walks-of-life shrieking at us. We reveal to show that these are auditions for a terror movie such as King-Kong, Superman etc.

Giving to Charities

In this novella we visualize a perfect world. We start with a guy in a boring office who hears some tinkle of Salvation Army and starts off in a hurry dodging people, lifts, traffic and everything that a city throws at him and finally reaches his destination. But be warned, nothing is perfect!

Luxury Items

This novella is inspired by the fact that in today's world, anything imaginable has a premium luxury version from food, clothes, housing to cars, mobiles, underwear, coffins etc. So, we just do a montage of silly luxury stuff like disease, charities, maggots by following the rule that if it is expensive then there should be something good in it.

Cookery Show

This novella simply shows a popular cookery show with a beautiful host, attractive chef and a loud audience. There is nothing really happening except at the end we show people from all walks of life hooked to this show from the obese fatsos in the rich world to the famine-struck farmers in the poor world. At the end, when the tasting happens, the host pukes on the chef.

Energy Drinks

In this novella we play on the bimbos that sports people are and also the duds that energy drinks are. We start with a guy playing tennis helter-skelter and he is on the top of the game. He attributes the success to his energy drink but someone tells him that the energy drink is all bogus after which his performance drops. But then someone else convinces him of another energy drink and he ascends.

Viewing Habits of Movie Extras

This novella shows the sad truth of wannabe movie stars who end up with acting as nameless extras in anonymous movies. We show a group watching a movie and at some point, the same scene is being played again and again. We come to know that the leg of one of the guys was in the scene.

Football Academy

In this novella we show what really happens at football academies. We show a person in football gear getting on stage and doing all sorts of actions of a theatrical type and exhibits a huge repertoire of his moves and vibes. We end with a football coach asking him to be more natural.

Africa Gun Aid

This novella is inspired by a scene from the movie “Lord of War” where a plane arrives in a desert land and guns are distributed to a very happy people.

Role Models

This novella talks about why society is rotting day by day which is obvious since if we look at the so-called role-models of today, who are they? They are not people who have made a significant contribution to humanity, but rather, media-generate skin-showing 15-seconds-of-fame celebrities.

Miracle that is Life

This novella is inspired by a quote “you are a result of sex, drugs and alcohol”. We start with the birth of a baby and the parents in a very sweet position and we describe the miracle that is life ala a national geographic program complete with the clockwork from fetus to human in reverse time order with the ending that this all came into being because of a very alcoholic date.

Commercials/Adverts: Life-changing Citizen Journalism

In this novella, we rub in the citizen journalism meme deeper by telling the effect it has on vintage media people. We show a guy on a chair and we come to know that he was a minor celebrity as he was a photo-journalist for a major newspaper and he is reminiscing of his good life.

Real Endings: FedEx Castaway

These are a series of silly parodies. In this one, we take a dig on the movie Castaway and the FedEx commercial. In the original form, a FedEx agent who spends months on a desert island returns the package to the rightful owner. In our version, the receiver throws the packet at his face and sues.

Citizen Journalism in Westerns

This sketch continues the citizen journalism theme and is a simple sketch where people are vying to take photos of an incident in cowboy style.

Supermarket Pressures

This novella reveals why people buy things they don't need at supermarkets. We start with some people shopping and each of them end up with stuff because a guy is trying to impress a girl, the girl is trying to outdo another girl, a mother is going for the most expensive child food etc.

Love Tricks

This is a small sketch on a guy proposing to a girl but almost tricking her into submission. He learns the lesson that one cannot act too clever in matters of the heart.

How to Generate Interest in an Academic Poster?

In this humour-sketch secrets of generating interest in an academic poster are revealed. In a boring conference, our hero tries all sorts of stuff like free grub, prizes, hot chicks, fire-blowers etc.

Charity Begins at Home

This novella depicts the state of many people who are involved with some charity/social work. We follow the antics of a girl who is into everything. She is helping people everywhere from Africa to the local school but however, she has alarms to call her Mom, does not know her neighbours and does not reply to emails. How cruel is that?

All Humans Want Same Stuff – Only Labels Differ

This novella is a montage which compares and contrasts of how humans are almost the same inspite of their colour, financial position, job etc. For example, while in India, people queue up to see some Swami, in UK, people queue up to see some celebrity. People everywhere obsess about marriage no matter how many times they do it. And so on and so forth.

Making of an Indian Temple

This sketch reveals how the many business like temples in India are coming up like mushrooms. We start with a tapori stalking a girl at a bus-stop and he trips and falls in a prayer position in front of a rock. Other people join in and a temple starts and the guy is the priest raking in moolah.

Stop Cruelty towards Children (in Commercials)

In this novella we make an appeal to stop cruelty towards children and to oppose child labour not in slums of Calcutta but to those poor children in commercials.

Safety Airlines

This sketch is a commercial for a new airline which claims to be the safest airline ever. We start with a mascot explaining the madness at airports of security checks, hijackers, confiscations etc. and says that their airlines does away with all that. The reason being that they will knock all passengers out and tie them up so as to ensure that no terrorists will be able to do any silly things.

Alpha Male Whiteville

This novella is a real estate development commercial which advertises 1940s style white masochist neighbourhood . It's a big hit and coloured people queue up to get recruited as slaves.


  1. Same Experience – Different Aftermaths

  2. Addicted to Places

  3. Sport as Friendship Respirator

  4. Shallow World

  5. Dieting Obsession

  6. Escaping Traffic

  7. How World Works (epic)

  8. Love Essentials – Awkward Silences and Heroic Moments

  9. Selling Soul to Hospital

  10. Commercials/Advert: Exercising Tread-Mill

  11. Security = Importance

  12. Guide to get an Oscar

  13. Stop Cosmetics

  14. Vying for Superheroism

  15. Art Everywhere

  16. Tabloid Exclusives

  17. UNICEF Happiness Index Secrets

  18. To Meet a Girl

  19. Complaining about Choice

  20. Bored Community

  21. Directions in Vietnam

  22. Human Communication Flowchart

  23. Naughty Angels

  24. Hers, His and Its

  25. Racism Everywhere

  26. Funeral Shopping

  27. Greeting Cards for All Occassions

  28. Organic Foods

  29. Top 10 Human Atrocities

  30. London Bombings Normalcy

  31. An Afghanistan Incident

  32. Opposition Politics

  33. Globalization of Ineqaulity

  34. News Product Packaging

  35. Same Actions - Different Perceptions

  36. Promoting Road Safety

  37. Real Humour in Library

  38. War Auction

  39. A Treatise on Book Covers

  40. Warranty Voids

  41. TV Channel Montage Story

  42. Almost There and Just Misses

  43. Woody Allen Jokes for Dummies

  44. I love, therefore I'm a Sadist

  45. Flight 94: A Hijack Story

  46. Summer Police

  47. Countries and their Obsessions

  48. Territorial Integrity

  49. Professional Repair Opinions

  50. Computers Suicide

  51. World without Misery is Chaos

  52. Doctor Training

  53. Blame People not Corporations

  54. University Graduation Ceremonies

  55. Teaching Terrorism

  56. A New Country

  57. Charity Shop

  58. FIFA 2006 - “Time to Make Friends”

  59. Idiots Guide to Make a Disaster Movie

  60. Public Affection

  61. Politeness Everywhere – Sorry

  62. Politeness Everywhere – Thank You

  63. Politeness Everywhere – Excuse Me

  64. Sutradhar: On Gandhi and Che Geuvara Posters

  65. Sutradhar: On James Bond Male Fantasy

  66. Sutradhar: On Relationships

  67. Sutradhar: On Stupid Questions

  68. Sutradhar: On Hating

  69. Sutradhar: Inappropriate Interruptions

  70. Sutradhar: On People Types

  71. Sutradhar: On Indian Marriage Minute

  72. Real Endings: Sierra Mist Monkey

  73. Real Endings: Levis Buffaloes

  74. Real Endings: Vicks

  75. Real Endings: Budweiser on Beach

  76. Real Endings: Matrix Revolutions

  77. Fund Raising Today

  78. Interviews TEMPLATE

  79. PhD Outputs

  80. PhD Rabbit Story

  81. Accident Injustice

  82. At Construction Site

  83. Osama Bin Laden Interview

  84. What People Look for in a Car?

  85. A European and an American in a Pub

  86. Lost in Floods

  87. NRI Nakhras

  88. Getting foreign Visa – A Checklist

  89. India School Admissions

  90. India Vehicle Stoppages

  91. Looking into Situation by Indian politicians

  92. Child Mischief montage in rural India

  93. Indian Gods Chain of Command Hell

  94. Kasparov vs. Villager

  95. Passport Checks

  96. Indianized MasterCard Commercials

  97. Transform your Life! Visit India

  98. Video Game Championship

  99. Realities of India

  100. Independence Day: Then and Now

And about a couple of thousand more (and growing) in all kinds of stages... Phew!





3rd June 2006

First draft

Seems like a good thing but hard work

12th Sept 2006


After talks with agents and newspapers


This document is a list of cartoon-art I presently have – physical and ephemeral – i.e. some of them are fully drawn and polished. Some of them are in the process. Some of them are in the script phase. This document is being generated for the purpose of giving evidence of the artists potential, varied interests, adaptiveness, sense of humour and for filing and archival.

Readers kindly note that the some of the full-size cartoons put in this portfolio are available at web URLs that can be provided where needed. The content is composed of many sections describing each cartoon-art sketch/seed, some of which, the artist feels are quite universal, hard-hitting, unique and topical to the human condition.

Also, the list is ordered in chronological and completeness order i.e. the ones at the top are most complete and ready for publication and ones further down are in drawing and scripting stages.


Srikant Jakilinki (SJ) is an insignificant member of the human race on an infinite sabbatical from day job since October'2005 seriously exploring a favored career as a published freelance cartoon-artist so that he can be a part of published history and spend more quality time with his family-run school and making/eking out a living from the stuff of dreams and thought.

SJ believes that he has recognized core patterns from his study of cartoon literature and has almost perfected a formulaic approach that can guarantee the generation of cartoon-art on any given topic, quote, situation, concept, news item, idea seed et al. with a very quick thorough-put from hi-brow intellectual acidic satire to down-to-earth warm romanticism and everything in between.

SJ feels that the art he creates is a new genre and which he considers is literature since they are but crystallizations of thought, albeit in a non-verbal and universally accessible form of imagery. After all, even words are symbols, and technically speaking, drawings. The cartoon bit is appended to art because the drawings are deliberately simple, minimalistic and cartoony but be warned that some subjects explored are quite heavy, venomous and embed within them, subtle symbolisms.


At the risk of repeating, the stuff I do are quite topical and universal and I would even go to say that the cartoon-art approach is perhaps the best/only/unique way to express such heavy views/subjects and make people aware of the inhumanity that pervades all around our blissful existence. Silence is used as a key element and there is really no satire but actual reality as-seen-around that is depicted.

Since translation is not required, the work could be directly directed to a global audience. The nature of content also allows the work to be syndicated to legacy and new media outlets. Each region could warrant different methods of promotion which the agent/publisher are better equipped to suggest and take forward.

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